Really struggling for motivation today...Didn't want to get up and workout this morning, but I did it anyway. Now, I'm really struggling to study for my test tomorrow. It's been a long time since I've taken a test in a classroom and I am stresses out over it. I have taken many tests and done well, but I've taken them online and been able to confirm my answers. UGH! I know what it is, it's getting to be that time again, YUK! I can feel the depression and anxiety creeping up on me and I am trying to fight it. Sometimes just gets so overwhelming.
The weight thing is ridiculous too. I gain weight for a couple of weeks before, and yup, I'm gaining weight. Every day seems like I gain another pound or two. How will I ever lose any, if it's three pounds down and four pounds up!?!?! I will not give up, but it's just so hard. I want to see some real results for my sweating and workouts, but I'm just not. I have only lost around 16 pounds and that's really frustrating!! REALLY frustrating!!!!!! I had a goal set for March, well it came and went. Was arguing with 1.6 pounds, and well I'm back to needing to lose 5 to reach that goal! I wanted to reach this goal BEFORE March! I should have been able, to but for some stupid reason I didn't. AAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Why did I ever let myself get to this point? Stupid, stupid, stupid!! Now I'm gonna have to work for a LONG time to finally get healthy again. Why did I do this? DUH! Why do I keep doing this? Eating myself into oblivion is not acceptable, why do I keep doing it? I know logically that it doesn't make sense, but emotionally it makes me feel good.
I am happy to be seeing the sun shine again. It seems my moods get easier to handle when the sun is shining and the temperature is above 50 degrees. I love spring and summer, they just make me smile! And this weekend is daylight savings! Whoopy! I love this time change! Gives me more sunshine to enjoy during the day!! We are also heading out to San Antonio next week during spring break, YAY! I can't wait to get out of town! It'll be great, supposed to be warm and sunny down there! Hopefully I can get a break and this will relight my fires! They are awful dim right now! Guess I better get to studying...YUK!
Oh Gina...I just love you so much. You are doing such an awesome job! You continue to inspire me. Whether you think you do or not, YOU DO! I've been dragging myself lately, but it helps to know that i'm not in this alone...and neither are you!!! And I just know you will do great on this test...YOU WILL!!!! LOVE YOU!
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